Saturday, November 12 was going to be my day of relaxation, one last day just for me before our lives changed forever. I had booked a facial and a mani/pedi and had a lunch date with B-Mom to discuss her living arrangements. It was going to be a great "me" day. The baby had other plans.

For people who cannot conceive naturally, the cost of bringing a baby home can be astronomical. No one likes to talk about it; it feels kind of wrong to even write about it, but no one really knows the commitment it takes to just get to this point. So I am just going to put it out there for the sake of education: adoption is very, very expensive.

It's something we can't help but think about: what happens if B-Mom changes her mind? It happens. Here’s what you need to know about the risks of open adoption - and whether you are ready to face them.

We‘re in the final weeks before the baby is born, and life is starting to get hectic, with a growing to-do list and little time. We have nothing prepared and no idea where to start. Friends and family have offered advice and books. Others are taking their time warming up to the idea that our family is growing through open adoption.

Four weeks from today, we will have a son or a daughter. It's a surreal whirlwind. I can't believe how quickly it’s all happening!

Those were the first words I said when I heard the voice at the other end of the phone this past Sunday. It was Sarah, our adoption facilitator at the Adoption Center of San Diego. It was the call we thought was months or more away. 

I thought the hardest part of our adoption process would be writing "the letter". Compared to that, completing some paperwork and taking one little photo would be a piece of cake, right?

This has been one of the hardest things I've ever done—and that's saying a lot. We finally finished a Dear Birthmother letter. It's taken the better part of a month and was the subject of a lot of arguments. But it is done. Final. We’re ready.

It's 4:00 am. Insomnia, not something I normally suffer from, is visiting me. This only happens when I am really worried about something. I know what it is. We've been putting it off for days, weeks now. I can't put it off any longer. It's time to write the hardest letter we'll ever write.

I forget that some folks are challenged by the concept of adoption. And there are many assumptions about what it is and what it is not. I was reminded of that last evening as we had Rob's mother over for dinner.

I did a lot of research before embarking on this journey. There's a lot to learn. But any online research quickly reveals stories of people who feel that adoption is not a noble choice, whose experiences point to a darker time when adoption was cloaked in mystery, disinformation, and lies.

Tasha is our first baby, the sweetest, most wonderful little mutt I've ever known. She was a rescue puppy saved from a life on the streets of Rosarita, Mexico. Getting her was an impulse decision that took four years to make. Today is her birthday.

Home is a lot of things. It's a place to keep your stuff. It's a place to have your mail delivered. It's a place to feel safe and warm. And it's a place to put down roots and raise a family. Was I finally ready to call San Diego home after 10 years?

For this long holiday weekend, we set a goal to complete not only our large packet of forms but also a first draft of our "Dear Birthmother" letter. So by noon today, we were set up at the local cafe, three copies of each form (his, hers, and the official set) ready to go.

Today would have been my grandmother's 97th birthday. A tribute to a woman I try to emulate every day.

As an older first-time mom, all the good names are taken! Let’s have fun searching for baby names that strike the perfect balance of creativity, respectability, uniqueness, and intelligence.

My iPod shuffled 10,000 Maniac’s “Eat for Two”. For the first time in the 20+ years since I first heard this song, I got it.

I guess once the contract is signed and the check is written, you're committed. Today we took the first, definitive step to possible parenthood by singing an adoption contract. This has been a long time coming.