Getting to Know You
This is an archived blog from 2011. Return to the blog home to read other posts from In the Family Way.
Four weeks from today, we will have a son or a daughter. It's a surreal whirlwind. I can't believe how quickly its all happening!
B-Mom and I have been spending some time together this week. I took her to a doctor appointment where they scheduled a C-section for November 18, then to a state office to apply for medical insurance, followed by dinner and some shopping for clothes that fit. She is hiding her pregnancy from everyone in her life, including the family members she is living with, so strategically designed clothing is critical to her.
It was a fun girls' day (minus the state office waiting room) and a chance for B-Mom to relax for a while. She is a sweetheart. She is utterly disappointed in herself, and worried about disappointing her family who sacrificed a lot for her to get an education and come to the U.S. She has promised herself that she will reach her goals in life, and a baby, now, is not a part if her plan.
I really believe in this woman. She is stronger than she can imagine, and I feel like it's my responsibility to tell her that all the time. She is going to reach her goals. This baby will never be a regret. He will be a reminder that there is no obstacle she can't overcome.
Since her living situation is precarious because of her desire to keep the pregnancy hidden, Sarah had arranged for B-Mom to move to another place for the next couple of months. It's a church-run home for pregnant women and seemed like a good fit, but B-Mom is having a hard time making that scenario work without arousing suspicion. It is a concern for all of us. B-Mom has goals, but she fears the pressure and the disappointment of her family should they find out about the baby. It would be best for her to be somewhere else.
She obviously knew that her plan to stay with a friend rather than go to the church home was a worrying sign for me, because last night I got this text:
Don't worry, Carol. My decision is final. I will place this baby for adoption.
We had not discussed my worry, she just knew. At dinner this week she told me she thought I was someone who deserved to be a mother, to know what that love was like, and that she was happy to place her baby with me. This woman is an angel. A blessing to us and to this baby. I am so happy to know her and be a part of her life. I am excited to have a relationship with her and have her be an ongoing part if the baby's life. We really lucked out.
This is an archived blog from 2011. Return to the blog home to read other posts from In the Family Way.