A Model Matriarch
This is an archived blog from 2011. Return to the blog home to read other posts from In the Family Way.
Today would have been my grandmother's 97th birthday. Mary Teresa Grady Miles was born in Philadelphia on June 30, 1914, the oldest of five girls. Her mother passed away when she was 14 years old, so she took on the role of mother to her younger siblings, plus a cousin named Murph. She didn't have an easy life, but she had a strong marriage and three children who adored her.
Grandmom and me, April 2003.
Grandmom was a great lady, and a lady she was. Classy, put together, always active with a project, usually beautifying her home. Her hair was "done". Always. I inherited my 80's AquaNet habit from her. As a little girl, there was nothing better than digging through her closet playing dress-up, and clopping around in her beautiful high heels. She had a kitchen drawer, next to the one filled with pastel mints and spearmint leaves, where she kept lipstick and nail polish, and she never minded when her granddaughters reached in to try on a new color. I learned from her that nothing is all bad as long as your lipstick is on straight.
Grandmom also had a mean sweet tooth. A trip to the Jersey shore meant one thing - fudge! It was normal for her to eat a bowl of homemade whipped cream for lunch. There was always a full candy drawer, ice cream (Breyer's, please) in the freezer, and cake cones in the pantry. Her lemon pie was legendary. Sadly, her talent for making the most perfect piecrust was lost when she passed.
She hosted countless Sunday dinners, holiday celebrations, and birthday parties. My family regularly went to her home for Sunday breakfasts. We ate bacon, eggs, scrapple; fresh snowflake rolls, and a big box of donuts from the local bakery. Then we’d lie around the living room reading my grandfather's tabloids, the comics, or, later, watching MTV. Overnights as Grandmom's meant peanut butter and jelly on Ritz crackers and warm milk before bed and oatmeal for breakfast. I treasured those visits. Her house was so quiet; I'd lie awake at night for hours listening to the crickets. You didn't hear a lot of crickets in Philadelphia.
When my grandfather passed away in 1989, we all worried that she would be lost. But she surprised us all by not only surviving but also thriving. Three of her sisters lived in the same town she did. Her children never moved far away, so she had a strong support system. She built friendships with neighbors, went to church, and enjoyed her new life as best she could. She remained the delicate rock of the family.
I am forever grateful to have had her as a model of class, strength and family. I am acutely aware, especially now, of what our family lost when she passed away. We knew she was the glue keeping a fractious, strained family from disintegrating.
Grandmom passed away on May 21, 2004. I was in Hawaii on my honeymoon, which Rob and I took a year after we married. My own mother passed less than a year later. I miss these women every day and wonder how I am going to manage this journey without their daily guidance. But thanks to them I know the family I want to build: one full of love, tradition, laughter, and wonderful memories to keep us warm far into the future.
Happy birthday, Grandmom. I love you.
This is an archived blog from 2011. Return to the blog home to read other posts from In the Family Way.