In the Pool
This is an archived blog from 2011. Return to the blog home to read other posts from In the Family Way.
I thought the hardest part of our initial process would be writing "the letter". As I said previously, there's a lot of pressure on having a single sheet of paper capture your life, your qualifications to be great parents, and your desire to participate in the most open of adoptions. Compared to that, completing some paperwork and taking one little photo would be a piece of cake, right?
When I submitted our "complete" letter to Sarah at the Adoption Center of San Diego in mid-August, I assumed she would be totally enamored of our thoughtful letter, simple design, and stunning photo. No. She was, in fact, mostly happy with the letter, unsure about the design, and unsatisfied with the photo.
Her main issue was with Rob and his obvious discomfort with having his picture taken. I think Sarah is sensitive to making sure the adoptive fathers come across as happy, loving men since it is not unusual for birthmothers to be particularly distrustful of men, given their situation. Sarah thought that Rob needed to "lighten up a bit". Another friend mentioned that Rob looked like he had just urinated. (At the time, I thought that was the funniest thing I ever heard).
Small tweaks to the letter made it better, and even though Sarah is unsure of how a professional layout would fly with her birthmothers, we decided to keep it since it's my work and a reflection of who I am. But that photo was still a big issue. Who knew that one simple snapshot would be the source of so much stress!
We had many impromptu photo sessions (and arguments). We took photos inside the house and outside the house. We toted the camera along wherever we went, asking friends and strangers alike to take pictures of us when we thought the setting was lovely or that we looked particularly pretty. I even leaned on the generous nature of my friend Paul, a professional photographer, to come to our house for a photoshoot. One of these had to be "the one", right?
On September 29, Sarah came to our home for the last hurdle before we would be in the pool of potential adoptive parents. This home visit was to review all the final paperwork, make any final changes to the "Dear Birthmother" letter, and choose the final photo. We presented more than 60 photos to Sarah for consideration, and, in the end, it was an impromptu after-work snapshot in our yard that won the vote for the all-important photo. It was one of our favorites, too.
It was a lovely afternoon, and by the end of the meeting, I was 100% sure that Sarah was the perfect choice for us.
Based on the winning photo, I tweaked the letter design because I couldn't help myself. I ordered 30 prints from Mpix.com, (printed on metallic paper - highly recommended and so cool!) and spent Monday evening gluing photos to letters.
Then on Tuesday afternoon I delivered the letters and 20 copies of our hand-written Adoptive Parent questionnaire to Sarah's office and crossed our fingers that one of these would end up in the hands of the birthmother who would choose us.
Now the waiting begins...and the networking.
Keep us in your prayers, and tell everyone that Rob and I are looking to grow our family through open adoption! Contact me if you would like copies of our letter to share with friends, churches, or whomever.
This is an archived blog from 2011. Return to the blog home to read other posts from In the Family Way.