Midlife and the Unwritten Self

Lately, I’ve been standing at the edge of something new. There’s a shift in the air, something I can feel in my bones, though I can’t quite name it yet. It’s a time in my life that feels both mystifying and inevitable—a point where the past no longer holds, and the future is still unwritten.

As I’ve been reflecting on this shift, I found Sharon Blackie’s Hagitude. It’s a book about reclaiming the second half of life, embracing the wisdom that comes with age, and letting go of the expectations that no longer serve us. Blackie speaks to women who, like me, are at the threshold of change, and it feels like a map for navigating this strange but empowering terrain. She explores female archetypes and how they’ve shaped the concept of the "elder woman" throughout human mythology—and how we can reclaim these powerful roles in our own lives.

I’ve spent so much of my life fulfilling roles—daughter, wife, mother—each one adding its own weight of expectation. And while I’ve loved and lived through those roles, I’m beginning to realize that I’ve also outgrown some of them. My son is just about to turn 13. It’s a beautiful age, but it also signals a shift for both of us. He’s stepping into his own independence, and I find myself wondering who I am now, as my role as a mother begins to change.

This, along with the slow unraveling of my marriage, feels like the end of something that defined me for so long. And yet, there’s an undeniable sense of freedom in it all—a release from the boxes I had once tried so hard to fit into, but never really did.

For so many years, I believed there was a certain way I was supposed to be—especially as a woman. I wanted to be "good" at the roles I played, to fit the molds that I thought were expected of me. But I’ve learned that trying to fit into those molds only left me feeling disconnected from the parts of myself that have always been there, waiting to be embraced.

It’s a feeling I’ve known before. Navigating a body that has taken me on unexpected paths has taught me resilience and acceptance in ways I didn’t foresee. There’s always been this sense of living between worlds, of being shaped by stories that were never fully mine. Perhaps that’s why I’ve always been searching for ways to write my own.

That’s why this space, Unwritten Self, exists. I’m ready to explore who I’ve always been, outside the roles and expectations that have shaped me. I’m ready to let go of what no longer serves me and to embrace what’s still unfolding. This blog is a place for making sense of the past, exploring the future, and reflecting on the shifts that make us who we are.

There’s a certain mysticism in this time of life, a sense that things are shifting, whether I’m ready for them or not. But maybe that’s the point. This isn’t about having all the answers. It’s about allowing myself to live in the questions, to let the future be as unwritten as it needs to be.

I don’t know exactly what’s next, but I do know that I’m ready to stop holding myself to expectations that never quite fit. This is a new chapter, one that’s mine to write.

So here’s to what’s still unwritten.