Leadership wake-up call
How I Learned to Manage Stress and Show Up Fully
Some leadership lessons come from books. Some come from experience. And some come from a 7-year-old calling you out on your bad attitude.
A few days ago, I found an old leadership assessment from 2018. It was designed to highlight my strengths and areas for growth. At the time, I skimmed through it, noted a few points, and moved on. But looking at it now? It was eerily accurate.
✔ Strengths? Strategic vision, driving results, aligning cross-functional teams.
⚠ Development areas? Managing stress, emotional presence, and risk-taking.
At the time, I was in a new job, a new industry, and it was stressful. I didn't take the assessment seriously. I was focused on execution, growth, and proving my value. I didn’t think much about stress management or emotional leadership—until my then-7-year-old made it crystal clear.
The Moment of Realization
One evening, after a particularly exhausting workday, I snapped at something trivial. I immediately felt a wave of guilt and apologized to him. His response? "That's ok, you're the angry mom."
That hit hard.
I had been carrying stress from work into my home life and home stress into my work life. The weight of deadlines, pressure, and expectations blurred the lines between personal and professional, and I wasn’t showing up as the leader—or parent—I wanted to be. That moment forced me to take a step back. I had two choices: keep pushing through or actually do something about it.
So I did the work.
I got into therapy.
I built a meditation practice.
I learned how to separate stress from leadership, focus on emotional resilience, and set boundaries that allowed me to be more present—both at home and at work.
Leadership Isn’t Just About Execution. It’s About Presence.
For a long time, I believed leadership was about vision, execution, and results. I had a bit of a "strongman" energy when it came to leading. I spent a long time in tech, and that was the model back then. But leadership isn’t just about achievements; it’s about how you show up.
Some leadership skills come naturally, while others require deliberate effort. And sometimes, it’s a gift when someone—or something—holds up a mirror and forces you to improve.
Through this process, I learned that emotional leadership is not just an add-on, it’s essential. The ability to manage stress, communicate effectively, and bring emotional presence to leadership has a direct impact on team performance, culture, and long-term success.
Leading with Presence and Empathy
Over time, I’ve learned to listen first, to pause before reacting, and to be intentional about my presence in every interaction. Buddhist meditation has been a grounding force, constantly reminding me that while I can’t control every situation, I can control how I respond. That shift has had a profound effect on both my leadership and my parenting.
I’ve also come to embrace empathy not just as a leadership tool, but as a way of deeply understanding and connecting with people. I make it a priority to truly know those around me—what motivates them, what they value, and what makes them feel seen and appreciated. This shift transformed my leadership and my team. Engagement improved, collaboration deepened, and challenges became opportunities for growth.
Not everyone responds to this leadership style, and that’s okay. Leadership isn’t about universal approval—it’s about creating meaningful impact. By leading with presence and understanding, I’ve found greater clarity, stronger relationships, and a renewed sense of purpose, both professionally and personally.
Your Leadership Wake-Up Call
What was your leadership wake-up call? A mentor’s tough feedback? A personal challenge? How did it shape you?
What was the lesson that shaped your leadership style?