Lessons from a layoff
Imagine stepping into a new leadership role, hopeful and ready to make a difference, only to discover that your direct reports openly want you to fail. From day one, they told me I didn’t belong. They believed they could outlast me, as if I were a temporary obstacle rather than a leader there to help us move forward.
But it wasn’t only my immediate team resisting me. The larger group I’d joined—other leaders who, like me, reported to the same boss—didn’t trust marketing and didn’t trust me. They saw marketing as both the scapegoat for everything going wrong and the “fixer” expected to save the day. When things went well, success never landed on marketing’s shoulders. When they didn’t, we were the first to shoulder the blame. Communication felt strained, and any sense of collegiality seemed staged.
Trying to Earn a Fair Shot
I fought daily for a chance to prove my worth. Eventually, I made the gut-wrenching decision to let the existing marketing team go, not because I wanted to, but because the dynamic had become unsustainable. For a full year, I operated with a rotating group of contractors—unsteady support imposed on me by leadership. Full-time hires were off the table, so I became the one constant in a constantly shifting puzzle.
It was exhausting. I had to be strategist, executor, fixer, and cheerleader all at once, never knowing who’d be on deck the next day. Still, I learned that I could navigate uncertainty, that my experience had given me the versatility to adapt, and that I could remain anchored in chaos. In the process, I discovered a strength I didn’t fully appreciate before.
Progress, Despite the Headwinds
Over four years, I rebuilt the marketing function from scratch. We boosted lead generation by 300%, cut cost-per-lead by 75%, and supported multiple product lines through restructurings, COVID disruptions, and relentless pressure to “do more with less.” Some of my best work came from those challenges, and I was proud of what we accomplished. Yet, no matter how well we performed, I never once had a one-on-one conversation with the top leader. My impact lived in spreadsheets and outcomes that no one at the very top seemed interested in understanding.
When a sales miss occurred, marketing took the blame immediately. No one reviewed the reports or asked me what happened. No one sought context or truth. Instead, the old pattern prevailed: avoid accountability, sidestep honest dialogue, and let someone else carry the burden. Eventually, a consultant arrived—someone clearly poised to replace me and my boss. Without a real conversation, we were both let go.
Confronting the Toll
The layoff happened just before the holidays. While losing a job is never easy, I felt an unexpected relief when it ended. For four years, I had navigated distrust and dysfunction. I had been in therapy and on antidepressants, fighting to hold onto my mental health in a place that felt determined to erode it. When it was over, my body gave me a wake-up call.
The body keeps the score.
In the aftermath, I experienced injuries and health issues as though my body, no longer on high alert, was finally showing the damage done. It was a tough period, but also one of reckoning. I realized I’d given too much of myself to an environment that never valued my humanity.
Finding Clarity on the Other Side
A year has passed since I left. I’m more grounded now, understanding that no title or paycheck is worth sacrificing your well-being. The experience reminded me that real leadership isn’t about shouldering blame for a broken system—it’s about fostering trust, championing honest communication, and creating a space where contributions are seen and valued.
If you’ve found yourself in an environment that dismisses your efforts and questions your worth, please know you’re not alone. We deserve workplaces where ideas are welcomed, credit is shared, and leaders recognize that people are more than the roles they fill. There’s life, growth, and possibility on the other side of toxic systems. We can learn from them, move beyond them, and refuse to let them define us.
That’s what it means to lead with empathy, resilience, and a commitment to honest, human-centered leadership. That’s what it means to be a New Leader.