Fabricate, Fluff, Fudge, or Freak Out

The Job Application Survival Guide

There’s a moment in every job application where you’re hit with that question. You know, the one designed to sneakily calculate your age. Maybe it’s asking how many years of experience you have with a tool you’ve been using since its beta version. Or worse, they want to know the year you graduated. Suddenly, your palms sweat, your cursor hovers, and you’re faced with a modern dilemma: How honest should I be?

Psychologists tell us that when confronted with a threat, our natural responses are fight, flight, freeze, or fawn. But when it comes to job applications, these transform into something far more relatable: Fabricate, Fluff, Fudge, or Freak Out.

1. Fabricate: When You Shave Off a Few Years

You glance at the question asking for years of experience and think, What’s a little creative math? Suddenly, your decade of experience with Photoshop becomes a tidy “5+ years,” just enough to seem seasoned but not ancient. Fabricate mode kicks in when you’re convinced that trimming your timeline will keep you in the game.

2. Fluff: Overloading the Buzzwords

Feeling the pressure to impress, you unleash your inner thesaurus: “Strategic visionary with proven ninja-level expertise in driving scalable, agile, cross-functional ecosystems.” Sure, half the words are fluff, but they sound impressive. You’re not lying; you’re just… embellishing the truth to align with the latest jargon.

3. Fudge: Selective Memory at Its Finest

Here’s where you “forget” a few things, like your first job where you made copies all day or the fact that your first marketing campaign involved fax machines. Instead, you highlight only the shiny, modern stuff. Fudging isn’t about dishonesty; it’s about curating the best version of your timeline.

4. Freak Out: The Existential Crisis

You see the question and immediately hit full panic mode. Why do they need to know this? Am I too old? Is this a trap? You close the application, make some tea, and spiral into a mini existential crisis, questioning the entire hiring process and contemplating a career change to artisanal soap-making.

The Humor in the Madness

We’ve all been there. The stress of deciding how much of your truth to share—or strategically hide—is real. But let’s be honest: the absurdity of these questions deserves a laugh.

Because here’s the truth: Your experience, whether it spans decades or just a few years, is valuable. And if the system forces you into Fabricate, Fluff, Fudge, or Freak Out mode, maybe the system is what needs to change.

Own your story. Laugh at the ridiculousness. And remember, you’re not alone. We’re all just navigating this wild world of job applications together, one buzzword at a time.